I took a roadtrip this weekend with Carl, Ansel, and Josh. We drove to Memphis, TN for the AutoZone Liberty Bowl. Our Bulldogs beat Central Florida's Golden Knights 10-3. Beale Street beat us by at least $400-$0. They took everything and in return gave us giant 100 oz. Hurricanes and Long Island Ice Teas. The long blue tubes looked like giant vases with a white strap so you could just hang it around your neck. At only $20 a pop they were GENIUS!
My "Big Ass Beers" were $5 for 32 oz glasses, which was a steal on the street. Most of my beers inside of bars were $4 or more for a 12 oz. can! Then we discovered Miss Polly's on Beale St. I very highly recommend it. 12 pieces of hot wings for $5.99 is literally 12 whole wings, not just the little drums and the wings. 24 pieces by normal standards, and don't forget the pepperjack cornbread!
I found a funny play mustache in my jacket pocket, so I wore it on TV. The news people were fascinated by my 100 oz. drink and kept doing tilts up and down to get it all. I told them to stop checking me out. Carl physically moved an 80 year old UCF fan out of the way so he could get on TV. Rediculous.
We randomly met our friend Callahan on Beale St. Friday night. He's famous for yelling out "Irish Fight Night" and then the bar falls into bedlam. We always joke that if we see a barfight, Cal will be along shortly swinging in like a pirate and babbling in an irish accent. We tried to call him Saturday but he didn't answer. Probably a good thing.
I started speaking in an irish accent and didn't stop until I left Beale St. at 6am.
The game started at 3:30 and we had Yukon Jack for pre-gaming. Luckily, none of us could drink so we stumbled over to the stadium and found our spots. The stadium was amazing. We set an attendence record of 63,817, breaking the last record which was also set by us in 1991 against Air Force. I have never heard so many cowbells in my life. UCF fans were so jealous of this most awesome and most sacred of MSU traditions. Of course 55,000 of the folks in the stadium were MSU fans and only 5,000 of those forgot their cowbell.
Beale on the second night included more booze, but it seemed tamer. Josh passed out stading up in Miss Polly's the first night. Ansel poured salt and pepper in his hair. The waitresses and our favorite bartender Kacey laughed when they saw us walk in again. They were glad we came back, not only because we spent outrageous amounts of money but because we were without a doubt the funniest folks on Beale Street. We really were in rare form and kept everyone, even the UCF fans laughing. That's a rare thing to do intoxicated without offending someone. Josh also had syrup poured on his hands. We left about 5 am. In the morning I realized I had had 8 big ass beers (you do the math, I refused). God bless taxi cabs.
We were also the only people on Beale St. who knew all of the lyrics to New York, New York. We did you proud ole blue eyes!
Bums in Memphis have an amazing sense of self-entitlement.
Our friend Lauren was a gracious host providing us with mamosa's in the mornings and making sure we had cab fare each night. She even bought us late-night breakfast!
Overall a great trip and an amazing experience.
Update: Cal finally called Carl and informed us that he woke up Sunday morning in a Memphis infirmary handcuffed to the bed. He got a cop's attention and asked what had happened, to which the cop replied "public drunk." Cal said he laughed and replied "No shit, when can I leave?" Turned out the arresting cop filled out the information wrong and he was released without a ticket or charges! The man is legendary now.
